Today was a good day for me.
This morning I met with my doctor to discuss my depression. Not longing after starting a different anti-depressant, I started having digestive problems, including the acid reflux of death. She thinks it is probably not related to the medication, so I hope it will go away on its own. For now I chug Maalox.
Otherwise the medication, Wellbutrin, is working for me well. I feel happier and more relaxed, I am laughing a lot more, especially at irony and silliness. My wife calls the way I used to laugh my "fakey" laugh, but now it is the real gut-busting kind. I am more at ease when meeting new people and dealing better with stressful situations at work. When I do get down, I bounce back more quickly. I am drawn again to activities I used to enjoy. All hopeful signs. My doctor renewed the prescription for another two months.
It feels like my life is coming back into balance. I find myself thinking about projects I have shelved recently like my writing and music. I know medication is not a permanent solution but I will take what it gives me for now.
Update - May 18, 2009: Unfortunately the Wellbutrin did not work out either. The digestive problems did not improve, and I was losing weight rapidly, almost 15 pounds after three weeks. It also raised my blood pressure, which was the last straw. Two days ago I stopped taking it, my blood pressure is back to normal and I still feel happy and positive. I wonder if giving up coffee and alcohol these past six weeks did more good for me than either of the medications I was prescribed.